Marriage Gossips and Others…

Marriage is always fun. Be it relative’s or friend’s or someone whom you had been acquainted and long forgotten his/her existence!

What makes it very interesting?

Marriage is interesting because… No! This is not a SST/ENG/EVS class.

Gossips rule the whole party!

She1: Aye! Paathiyaadi avavla? Evvalavu nagai potturukka!

She2: Paathundu than irukken, ava husband-u Dubai-la velai seiaraanam! (Now the situation has changed. It is more like “Ava husband-u America-la Software-la velai seiranama…”)

She1: Ye Archana inga vayen. Ennadi athu kathula? Puthu model-a?

Archana: Amam maami! LKS-la puthusa oru model vanthuthu. Avar kitten ketten, ethu venumo vangikko appadinu sollittu avroda card koduthu-tu poittaru. (Archana leaves after that.)

She1: Koduthu vechava. Hmmm! Yenoda athukkararum irukkara! Seriyana oru asamanjam!

She2: Amam amam!

She1: ?!

She1: Atha vidungo! Avvala parungalen, eppadi dress pottundu vanthirukka-nu?!

She2: Eva?

She1: Athan, tight-a oru sattaiyum, chinna size skirt. Kalyanathukku vanthirukka mathiriya vara, iva-ellam?! Paathi theriyarthu! Cha! (As though, they are doing a favour of entertaining the rest with their informative and humourous talks!)

She2: Amam di. Bad dressing sense. Pottathu than potta oru Green top-um, black skirt-um poturukkalam!

She1: ?!

And they go on describing every lady who enters the hall. They have something to comment upon every woman who comes and goes. No one is spared. Sometimes even the bride and her mother are not spared.

There would be nalangu after lunch. This is the time for the periyavals to relax. You get caught with them; you’ll die a slow death. Seriyana mokkai sometimes. But, for people with big ears and a thookam-sokkara-types, it is an aradhana.

This is the time almost everyone surrounds you and asks zillion questions (Of course with beeda in their mouth)-

If you are un-employed or forget at that stage, if you are lowest in grades, you are dead meat! (A meat is actually dead stuff!)

Periyava1: Enna pannara pa nee? Exam ozhunga ezhuthiniya?

Ambi1: Ummm… Pannen... Ippo summa than irukken, unnum velai thenindu irukken.

Periyava2: Enna sollara? Pona velai yen vitta?

Ambi1: io! Illa, nan unnum velai seiya arambikka vey illai. Rendu masathukku munnala than exam mudinjuthu!

Periyava3: Enna da un college-la campus ethuvum varalaya? Un vayasau than da namma Shrikanthu-kku! Campus-la place anan. Ippo America-la irukkan. Orey masathla nalla velai panninanu America anuppichittangalam! (Shrikanth is actually Periyava’s grandson…)

Ambi1: Err… (Appa, unna! Nan appovey sonnen engineering-lam vendamnu… Ketiya? Cha!)

Periyava4 (Meanwhile our hero dreams about next birth and his dad should be born as his son and all other stuffs): Enna da Ramamnujam sollavey illa?! Shrikanth eppo ponan? (Ambi1 silently elopes…)

Periyava3: Ambi1 engey ponan? Hmmm… Nalla padichi irutha ippadi iruppana avan?

Periyava1: Dai! Ambi2… Inga va!

Ambi2: Sollungo mama. Ethavathu saapida venuma?

Periyava1: Illa da. Nee enna pannara, engey velai seiyara?

Ambi2: Mannaar and mannaar company, formerly known as ABC…

Periyava2: Yennathu athu? Kelvi patta mathiriye theriyalaiye?!

Ambi2: Ummm…

Periyava3 (The same guy who tormented Ambi1): Enna da US-kku lam poliya? Unna vida 3 varusham chinna van da namma Shrikanth-u. Ippo US-la irukkan.

Ambi2 (Smart guy!): Hello? Enna ma? Sorry, nan appaorama vanthu pakkaren mama. Amma etho avasarama koopidra. (He should teach that to all! BTW, he never came back to talk to them. He did, when he was about to leave.)

Mom introduces her son to someone revered.

Sir: So, you have grown big and strong! Hmmm… What is your age?

Son: Yeah! Come December, I’ll turn 24.

Sir: Athu ennada hair style-a? Illa mudi kottaratha?

Son: Illa mama, hair style ellam illa! Mudi avvalavu than valanthathu! Hereditary problem, I’m balding!

Sir: Intha chinna vayasulaya?

Son: Hmmm… (io! Ellarukkum theiryum. Uyira edukkatheenga! Apppaaaa! Ellam unnala than!)

Next comes the 2^nd best thing in marriages- Food!

The menu contains at least 15 items – minimum!

Two curries

Three different rice varities (No make that four to five; including fried rice and kalantha saatham viz. a viz. Lemon rice or thengaai saatham)

Chips

Appalam

Jangri/milk sweet

Payasam/Seeroti/Kheer

Cutlet/Vadas

Avial

Kootu

Fruit salad

Ice Cream

And finally Beeda…

In a north Indian wedding reception they even kept snacks (Check out Chottu’s)!

It has become a fashion to organize buffet and bring in a beeda wala. So people can ask for their choices.

And finally bird watching. Nice looking girl all around the place. Iyer or Iyengar aathu kalyanam always rules!

Time flies.

Warning: If you cannot find anything of the above, then my friend, it is better to commit suicide as slow death is always very very painful. Trust me: Use a gun!