Revelation

Something to think, I guess. Yes, yesterday's stuff. Is it that I have not grown yet, or He has? He had always tolerated jokes on him, and all of us had tolerated other's nag. Quite alarming, that I cannot sense other's comfy factor. Or not realised that times have changed, and everyone has and I've to as well! I am yet to, as my manager quotes "Show maturity", show signs of it.

All these years, I thought I had known people enough, but yesterday’s incident was revelation that I was wrong. Little devastating, it was for me! I think, I was roaming around with wrong ideas about people and their attitude towards me. I was wrong in taking people for granted. Yes, that is the mistake. Like the Old English folks, I should address people with respect and never should expect in return. Never take anything for granted, respect other’s opinion, give room to their emotions, respecting every bit of it. Distance – something that needs to maintained even with your folks, closest kin, friends and others. Never, ever do the mistake of giving less than what you can.

I vividly remember my friend quoting me “clumsy” – the first time I had ever heard that word – from school. Do not know whether he remembers it, but surely, I do and now, I still believe that I have not changed, for him to say, “You are not clumsy”. Never had I realised how many of them felt awkward, irked, displeased, ill at ease, poignant, and finally just-like-Brendan-Fraser-in-Bedazzled in my company. What a character?! Never have I felt bad before, for committing such an act. Now more dubious is that, do my folks back home, feel this way? Holy shit! They could.

It is time to grow-up and show some maturity, responsibility and above all be a human. Yes, I know what you people think I am going to sum it up as. Nope, I am not going to end saying “It is common to make mistakes.” It is, but to learn is more talking towards evolution. I am yet to evolve, and I am wilfully going to put myself to be this way, forever. Should I still be a child, crack silly jokes and fool around hurting people?

Pity, I do not even know how to end this. May be only kala-chakkara can answer this. For all you folks out there, I seek no pardon for what I have done unto you. However, I am really sorry for what happened and may be in the future I’ll avert such things.

I will never grow-up, look at the mess I had written up. I’m actually complaining. Childish!

My friends tried to console me as the child in me is what keeps me going and that is what I should not lose. Being a child I have lost what I could have got if I could have acted as a man, I have lost, yes, aplenty of beautiful things!

I have lost you!

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Post - 50!

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